This post of mine is my view of Delhi transport system…..and I state it again….it’s my view…

Delhites have a love for vehicles….their love varies from one end starting with bikes, scooters, moped…to the other end ending with SUVs, MUvs…..bikes are usually restricted to the unshaven, booz eyed, jacket wearing, beer belly Jatt da puttar and they usually love the big machines ….Bullet being their favorite machine…….Scooters are usually the favorite vehicle for the busy (small time ) business minded sardars and the segment of shopkeepers we refer to as Bauji……….4 wheelers still holds the maximum aspiration, with the small time successful businessmen limit them selves to Altos and Santros of the world, the better ones move up the ladder…….somehow hatchback is seen as a symbol of failure and a curse of past……. and everyone wants a  sedan, how much ugly or ill-fit it might be……and the upper class looks for the bigger sedans and the SUVs of the world……this is how diverse the driving practice and capabilities of Delhi is!

Now, India is a land of Unity in Diversity and Delhi Vehicle owners follow this to the core…however diverse the choice of vehicles maybe, all the vehicles that run on the roads of Delhi follow the common rules….the unwritten rules that everyone knows as naturally as we know to breathe…

The rules and guidelines for Delhi Vehicle owners are as follows:

a) The most important part of the vehicle, be it 2-3-4-6 wheelers is the horn…..if your vehicle’s horn can’t blow at 50 dB higher than the permissible limits for at least 12 times a minute, yours is an impotent vehicle…..and it’s an insult to your virility to drive such a vehicle. If your vehicle boasts of such great horns and you don’t use them 12 times a minute, even on a perfectly traffic free road, you are either deaf and man with no self respect or you can fart that loud at that frequency. If you own a bike with ugly graphic stickers, your bike should boast of an extra pressure horn, specially put in place to blow while passing a group of DU chicks,  because such an act is a sure way to gain their attention and they really admire the whole stupid thing as an act worthy of ParamVir Chakra. If you are a busy businessman, you should always have the spare police siren and reflector to be used when struck in traffic so that jumping the red signal comes easy.

b) The second most important part of your vehicle are the head lights. The factory fitted headlights are used by the budhdha next door. If you own a bike/car/SUV, the only way to complement your Uber Cool attitude reflected by choice of your Horn blowing ritual is fitting high wattage headlights that can be nightmare (literally! ) for the guy coming from the other side. To make the situation even better, high beam is the only option available in vehicles sold in Delhi.

c) The third most important part of your vehicle are the plastic seat covers. You have bought a new car today….but your door ka mausaji who will visit you after 2 years won’t know that.  Your neighbour, the shopkeeper next door, the Dhobi, the Doodhwala and Mr. Khanna must know that you have bought a new car. The mere presence of a car is not sufficient for them to know that you bought a car…..The only sure way to let them all know that you finally bought it is to let the factory fitted plastic covers on the seat remain like that for 2 years….after all it’s very comfortable to sit on plastic seat and cherish those pre-toilet lesson childhood days….

d) The forth most important part of your vehicle are the dark tinted glasses. You have bought your car, and for the rest of your life, it will be your dining hall, meeting room, beer lounge and room for banging that chick…..all you need is some privacy and the dark tinted glasses, beyond the permissible limits is what completes the story…it also adds to the glam quotient because people resemble it to the goggles Delhites are so much in love to wear…

e) The fifth most important part of your vehicle is your number plate. People here are in love with single digits….because they are supposed to be the VIP numbers…..but alas you didn’t get the VIP number, that sage mama ke bua ke bete ka dost didn’t quite get you the number even after 3 back to back Rajma Chawal meals on your account…..no worries….thoda adjust kar lenge….. and so the DL-03-R-6749 becomes DL03r674-9 with the first part in font size 8 and the last part in font size 42, Bold, and font: Ariel Impact…….now the rajma chawal is break-even…

f) The sixth most important part of your vehicle is your music system. You love your music, be it bhojpuri songs in a SUV or old hindi auto-rick-favorite numbers in a sedan, you not only need to listen to them to enjoy them, but also make everyone in 2 km circumference to be aware of it…..obviously, they will enjoy your generous attitude and will never be bothered by the high decibel factory on wheels….the decibel of the music increases with time and peaks at 3am in the morning, after all every one should have a musical dream…and when you are struck in a traffic jam, it’s the ultimate war-of-Djs you can imagine….

g) The last most important part of your vehicle is obeying traffic rules. People here are very busy….they live the life next to the Prime Minister of the Country and match them in the complexity of the schedule. You own a car, you enter the most busiest lane, with 100 cars behind you….you spot the shop you were looking for….you don’t find a parking space…koi gal nahi ji…..just switch off the engine, go to the shop, take your time and come back…..after all everyone else is happy enough that you, the busiest of all, found what you were looking for, even if that meant halting the traffic for 30 odd minutes and causing problem for some selfish pursuits. Parking in Delhi is similar to public toilets….where ever you find space, you can create your own with your own contribution.…….You entering a busy lane, but want to go quickly?….koi gal nahi ji….just continuously honk loud and race the engine as fast as possible, everyone on the road will make way for you….it doesn’t matter to think of others safety…after all their day is already successful because they made way for your busy schedule….try this trick for jumping signal…..chances are your importance will be acknowledged.

Apart from the above rules, every vehicle is Delhi bears a mark of its existence…..the vehicles in Delhi are in shape only in the Showroom….the moment you take your vehicle out of the showroom, some part of its bonnet or bumper will be deformed within 30 seconds….they somehow follow their owners……the only time they were in shape was when they were  in the womb……the moment they came out they started their days with butter….potato…..chicken…..and bad body shapes….finding a Delhi vehicle…and it’s owner in shape is tougher than finding originality in a business plan

I feel much better now…..I have seen Delhi traffic…vehicles…..owners for long….and was shocked to see so much inhuman display of wealth on 4 wheels…..and also the rare reverse gear driving skills of the Delhi drivers…..

I understand this is my side of the story….and many will find it overdone……South Delhi (the Town counterpart of Mumbai) bears a better picture….koi gal nahi ji…..adjust kar lenge

This post of mine is dedicated to the Dogs of Delhi (no…I mean literally !)

A brief background should be built before I go further… Kamla Nagar area is the old Delhi area (Even though the Postal address is New Delhi 110007) and is marked by old, boring and stinking lanes…..these lanes are not only stinking….but also narrow and poorly lit…so when it’s late in the night….you do realize the that you alone can almost cover the entire lane……now keeping everything in place as described so far….add 5-6 dogs on each lane…….what kind of dogs….? here it goes….

Every city has dogs of special qualities….I have somehow found that steer dogs of cities are sharper than those of towns….I can easily fool a dog in say Ranchi by shooing it away….but out here…the dogs see a whole different, cruel and big world….and they are no dumb asses…..

The dogs here are active…..from 6pm to upto 3-4 am….some how they prefer the quite lanes to mark (or rather bark) their impression….as soon as the sunlight is missed, the dogs come up live and active……to add to the agony of the street dogs, the delhites prefer to keep pet dogs at home, and their evening road side loo break brings out the best ‘have-have-not’ fights on road…

The dogs out here are always in search of either food, pole to mark impression or bitches for sex….and when it’s late in the night…say 1 am….they are out there for some fun…

I usually end up walking down these lanes…alone and surrounded by dogs….as soon as you enter a region near the zone of dog(s)…they suddenly seem to lose interest in their food-poop-sex search….and concentrate on you….you are its next entertainment….firstly, it will look straight into your eyes….observing every move you make…..if you are walking slowly, it will start approaching you with an anger evenly expressed with few low decibel barks…..these barks are mainly to make its presence felt….if you pay attention, it knows you are the bait and barks loud enough to send a SOS to the nearby dogs…..and soon you will be surrounded by few angry dogs…our only mistake….you dared them….sometimes, if you are lucky, they will just play with your jeans and let you go….else, you need to show them who is the boss……by obediently moving away from them…..this is how you deal with the gang dogs out here…..

The next category of dogs are the foodies….well they just love food….because they miss it most of the times…..these folks are active near tea shop, fast food centers and dustbins…..they fight for your attention….by standing right in front of your table…or in between your legs depending upon line of sight suitability…they are your observer for the next 15 minutes till you finish your food….they will observe how the food travels from your plate to your hand to your mouth to your oesophagus and what not…..in short….they make you realize you are not the only person who loves that bite…..you take the bait and throw a piece of your food to them….they finish it in 50 Pico Seconds and they are back…..confident of sealing the deal….they want repeat business…..and here you are trapped in the cycle of karma…..and thankfully you will feed them more…..and they will let you take the good karma…..

The final  category are the outcasts….also known as insane dogs or pagal kutta ….well they are spotted with their special orientation of tail…..and the degree of orientation relates to the experience in the field….they are omnipresent….be it food shops or dark lanes……only to be chased by the sane of the species….they usually are full of fear ….so even a little hint of your aggression or sympathy piss them off……they might leave a mark of their love in form of love bites that might cost you some pain and rabies injections…..so beware of them….let the community do justice to them…..I know they deserve a better treatment… I know they have a right to the share of food and honour a street dog deserves…..but alas it’s a dog eat dog world….quite literally!

With so much variety in the dogs….along with the high headed pet dogs added to them…all let loose on the dark narrow lanes…..delhi roads do offer a course on psychology and self defense…..and every night you make your safe move….you do feel to win another dog fight….

I started this period with a vision of reading…good books….watching..great movies…….and making it an enriching experience…..

but like every other “vision” of mine….this was also infected by procrastination and laziness…..

….will do something good…..till then will bask in the happiness of this thought of mine

I woke up and was toying with the idea of chucking the presentation of the company we had in the evening…..I was thinking of it as a waste of time….and the ritual of wearing formal clothes…..getting in the room in time……waiting for the company to come……and listening to the stupid talks and laughing in between….while all the time waiting for those mementos to be given away….and a release from the temporary corporate life………….the thought that came to my mind was ….with a job in hand…..I hardly need to sit for these talks……I would rather enjoy my time outside and have some good fun…I was convinced that I should enjoy the fruits of job in the lateral process…..and have some fun before the course ends……..fully convinced…..I took bath and got into my casual attire …..I was about to leave my place when my flatmate announce “…Yaar mera StanC PPI convert nahi hua…..sirf 2 out of 4 hua…“

I was stunned….I was shocked…..I was depressed…..and I was real sad and disappointed …..This was one PPI I was 100% sure of conversion…the guy has worked his ass out in the summers….has excellent communication skills…..has a friendly outlook……won “best summer project” awards…..and here he was…..without the job he so much deserved……

Suddenly I went through the painful final process that he needs to go through now…..I could feel the pain in his voice….and how bravely he was sporting that smile….and congratulating others……..I suddenly thanked God for getting me the job during the process…….and I suddenly realized how lucky I am that I just need to sit in the PPTs to pass time….while they need to look forward to some God Forbid tough time……I just realized how cruel and selfish I am to avoid the PPTs that are no pain for me……and suddenly the guilt and fear came to me……and I realized….how badly I forgot the gift of God…the job

I decided to attend the PPT….I thanked God for making my life so simple and this PPT is nothing in front of the uncertain days my best friends will face for few of the coming days……I so wish they get the best deals ASAP……..I started getting my formal attire……..my Roomie asked a question…..that summed it up all….

“Kya hua?….Bhool gaya tha kya?“

….and I responded “Haan yaar…..bilkul bhool gaya tha” ….wore my formal attire…..thanked God……and left for the day…

Jan 6th 2009 was a crucial day in my life….not because I was going to get married or something….but it was the day when my fate could have been re-written in a different ink…

Jan 5th was when I was told about my interview with the Top Brass in Mahindra… I was pleasantly surprised to get that chance and was even more excited to know that the profile was a Marketing one…

I prepared some stuff on the company information….read some notes here and there…..and waited and prayed for a better 6th Jan 2009…..two things were crucial: It was a marketing profile in Mumbai with a reputed brand…and it was the last day of the structured process for Lats………the idea of attending GD with our brilliant fresher kids scares me more than the Logo of KFC might scare a hen…….I like most is born with low patience….which I try to conceal behind a fake calm face….but this time even that was fruitless…….

So…here 6th  of Jan came…..I checked my mails on my phone….found the schedule for the day…with no mention of Mahindra in it……I enquired from our placecom to find out that my form needs to be sent to the team @ Mumbai…..I was very tensed….and was feeling really miserable…..I tried to read and revise as much stuff I could……I called as many people possible to know about Mahindra and its process……finally mentally too exhausted to feel sane…..I started for the campus…….on arrival…it was an empty room….with 6 souls and equal number laptop on both sides of the control desk……I felt good to find familiar smiling faces….few more joined in sometime…….I was waiting for my interview and was informed that it will take place in evening……..

5:50pm and I received a call from a +9122… number…..Mumbai it was….and in few minutes…I was in the closed room waiting for the clock to strike 6:30pm…..revising all my answers and prayers in the same breath……I waited for my phone to ring…….alas it was a long wait……and I finally got a call@ 7:15pm from a mobile connection…….”Hello, I am Balaji..” …and I knew it was it…….

Soon the discussion that started very well about the organization took ugly turn to finance….somehow I steered it back to marketing…..and next started the marketing technical interview of my life……it was more of a Viva …and some small situations of practical marketing application……soon it was getting heavy and I was feeling of losing grip……..one thing that save me was the mobile network of Mumbai…..the phone disconnected 3-4 times in between …..many times giving me that crucial 30 seconds to think about the issue…….finally it was over……

I was back in the TT table area…..trying to play a few games with my future hanging in front of me…….I was happy about my knowledge of Mahindra….only wished I could have answered few more of the question in a better way….a typical after exam dilemma……I was shit scared of the future without a job at this stage…….with all thoughts running in my mind….my phone rang…….it was placecom…”Please come to Placecom Room”

I said my prayer….and started walking towards the 1st floor placecom room….ready to face what my life will be in the college for next 2 months….and my career beyond that……I reached the first floor…..started moving towards the seminar hall passage…..not a single soul was there to be seen…..and I turned towards the Placecom Room…..and I could find two of them coming out of the room……we exchanged glanced with my heart beating faster than it could……I started feeling weak…….and tensed……and sad…….and nervous…….when I heard 2 beginning words of a sentence “Sabyasachi Congratulation ………..” …..I couldn’t listen to rest of the words….my heart was listening to my soul…..my prayers were thanking my lord……and my eyes were trying to control the tears I couldn’t hold back……..my knees were getting weak……..I hugged the two messengers of my life…….I finally was relieved…..the most yet in my life…..

What followed are some of the best moment of my life…..the sigh of relief from two of my best pals……the congratulation calls……and my father’s reactions…….

Thanks God for etching 6th Jan 2009 in my life…

2010 is an important year for me….back in 2004 when I joined TCS…the TCS misson of “Global Top 10 by 2010″ used to strike as a distant target and here we have the 2010 already one day old! 2010 is in another way very important for me….this year will in a way be the 2004 of my life…2004 was when I graduated from BE with a job and this year I will graduate from MBA with (hopefully) a job….the year started on a good note with a shortlist to one of the most coveted Job offer this process…..and how it will turn out will be decided by our performance this sunday….

I hope 2010 turns out to be the year full of satisfaction and happiness ….and I hope on 31st December 2010….I look back and pray that 2011 be like 2010 !!

Happy New Year Folks!

Godspeed!

So here I was all set to go for dinner @ 10 when I received a call from my sis….I was ready to tell her some beginners stuff but I knew the geographical barrier will prevent some stuff to work…..with all set I asked her query…”…I wan’t to transfer files from the pen drive to my Laptop”.

Now I understand that for an average computer user this might be as simple a task as drinking water from a glass or sipping tea from a cup or gulping coke from a bottle (boy I am sure thirsty !!….lemme gulp some water before I proceed further)…okay so you got the idea it is easy….but believe me not for a newbie (I still remember my fascination with the Mouse pointer and how clueless I was about its movement)…..how I went about it?

Here it goes in the actual communication I had with my sis over the phone:

Me: Okay cool, first do one thing, open the pen drive and insert it to the USB drive

Sis: Okay I know that much….tell me after that

(believe me I was relieved! )

Me: Okay do one thing, in the left corner of your screen there is a 4 coloured window type icon ……a button

Sis: yes yes

Me: Click it…..okay now…..click on “Computer”……a new window is opening?……yes yes it will be a new window……okay what does it show?……yes yes that Transcend ….click on the transcend……not opening….okay double click it……….double click is clicking two times with almost no time in between…..yes it will open…….okay so what do you see?………..okay so you need all this stuff on your laptop?……..okay do one thing at a time……..press the control button……hmm okay its the left corner most button……yes Ctrl button…..okay keep it pressed and then press the button with letter A…….yes …..yes everything has been selected so its all in dark colour………okay now release A and press C……..no…don’t release Ctrl……okay do it again……so where have we reached?….okay so Ctrl + C is done?….Great……..now look for the window button……no no not on monitor…on the keyboard…..arre its a windows key….okay listen…you see space bar, to the left of it is the windows key after the Alt key…..yes……press that key and press D……..what?…you are getting message “Do you want to Delete all selected Items?”….arre not Ctrl and D, press Windows plus D….okay forget it…..go to desktop…….oh…what is desktop……hmmm….hmmmm…its the top of the desk……its the home screen…..main page……no not a window……arre go to the screen where you see the picture of the Speakers and all….try Windows + D again……you got it? sure……okay cool…..now do one thing……go to the middle of the screen and right click your mouse……yes…..click the right button……okay you see a menu?……click the New on the menu……and click “Folder”…..okay a new folder is created……now rename it (I was stupid to try it) …..it already has a name “New Folder” ….okay let it be…..now double click it the way I told you…..it opened? okay cool…..now go to the center of the screen and press Control and V …..yes keep pressing Control and then V……..okay what is happening?…..okay so it’s transferring the data…….yes the time remaining will keep changing…….yes it’s copying data…..oh yes you can release both the keys……okay after it is done…..it will show transfer complete…..close the folder……and then on the right corner of the computer you will see a green Tick type icon…..right click it and select “remove…” wala option…..and then remove the pen drive……okay? …..any question?……great!

….at the end of it my sis thanked me so much as if I invented this process and made life of civilizations as comfortable as invention of wheel/fire must have done…..

At the end of it all….I felt like an outsourced arm of an organization……for us sitting at the offshore development centers, things appear so easy and simple…..and of so less value and utility….but out there 11.5 hours time difference brings out a different impact……it’s like a revolution for them….a new discovery…..a brave invention…..a smart help…..a trustworthy companion…….and a cost benefit association……knowledge is not the only expertise we have…….but transmitting it via phone to corners of the world is where we leverage on the first expertise…..

Knowledge calls: India’s expertise

When I look back I find a very confused path that has been traversed so far….I started off from the corporate world with fresh memories of the Good life Amdocs offered me and soon decided to be back to the IT ….yes this was how I was when I was going through all the interviews and GDs for the MBA colleges….a part of it was driven by the heavy 4 years I have spent in the IT industry…and the want to graduate from the Bug Fixer to the man who monitors how many bugs you fixed….

I still remember that guy from SJSOM….it was the night before my GD-PI @ IITB when the guy told me how he used IT as his interest to enter SJSOM and now is  full Fin guy (in those days I used to call it Finance pronounced as Fynans and was confused when the guy told he is into Fin rhyming with pin). The guy gave me similar advice : use the ticket of IT to get in and go to Fin….that’s where the money is. I was not ready to take it as I thought IT is where I could leverage my work exp…..never understanding 2 yrs MBA was to change your track and less for learning MBA or getting a Masters Degree.

Come FMS and I had already been through the thought process…..and decided I had enough of IT and lets look for other avenues…Finance was the obvious choice because of two reasons totally irrelevant to such important decision of life:

a) My father is a ICWA which has something to do with Finance and he holds a Fin.Mgr position…..and so I must be having the “Fin Genes” (See how easily I graduated from Fynans to Fin?)

b) My girlfriend thinks I am good with numbers and would “look good” as a Finance guy (Well I don’t blame her, somehow people associate specs with an Academic angle)

….and based on these two “solid facts” and some “gyaan” from seniors (tough to get Marketing job after “heavy” work exp) I decided to be a Fin Guy.

Happy enough with the decision, I started my MBA 1st year with zero respect for the Marketing subjects (the “top class” faculty added the boosters for this inclination of mine) and “relatively” more interest towards the Fin subjects…..while Operations and IT were treated worse than how Telemarketers are treated ..and HR OB were treated like the pups we encounter @ JPTS…can feed you a Biscuit but can’t carry you home….

With such a clear vision/mission I started the Fin journey….and it was not smooth to begin with…..

The first thing any Fin guy should be clear with is BS and PnL clubbed with the ratios (it is other thing that given any day atleast 40% of “Fin” guys will be confused with them). I couldn’t make head or tail of them….I tried to use my “engineer” logic to get stuffs but somehow there were exceptions in every 2nd question….finally I decided that PnL and BS is not my cup of tea….this was again boosted by some “Gyan” session taken by some fin seniors….who themselves were fin Gods but couldn’t get to the level of lesser mortals…..this clubbed with no honest effort from my side killed the motives….

By the time we had summers, I was not having good fin knowledge….marketing was something that was easy and logical and I could understand how and why things were…..I ended up in a summer internship in a IT consulting firm…..and by the end of first year, my interest in Fin was again revived…..this time by corporate fin. A book so clear….a subject so interesting….I was decided that fin is where my heart is… I could also make sense to most stuff written on those pages…..

Come 2nd year and I took the best possible subjects available in Fin and supplemented them with some marketing subjects…..

Starts 3rd sem and I found new love of my life….Consumer Behavior. This was a subject that struck the right chord and I was amazed by the insights of the subject….this was supplemented by some great teaching by the faculty……and I took the next decision of my life: I want to do marketing….the fin subjects of the semester mainly Security Analysis and QAFD propelled this decision of mine and I was ready to face the world of marketing….

I started 4th semester….and now I have 4 fin subjects and 4 mark subjects….I am a mark focussed guy (the campus lingo for the job the guy is after) with 2/2 toughest fin subjects on my marksheet…….I am a mark focussed guy with nothing on the CV that speaks so extraordinary of my Mark liking…..I am a mark focussed guy with a heavy background in IT………but at the end of the day I feel it’s not the subjects you study….it’s not the projects you do……it’s not what you have done so far……it’s what you want to do now…..it’s what you are passionate about……it’s what you think can be the area you want to work for the next 30 years of your life…….and I feel I am pretty sure on it (ahem…at least till the time I was blogging)

…I am the Mark focussed Guy….and Here I come

A declaration like this means we all are thus commodity for the next few weeks (months…?)…and the price tag will be put on us by prospective buyers who will flock the campus sometimes soon with Microsoft Power points shouting how great they are and how good even a 6 Lac pay can look in their office….

The hunting season will bring in some activity in our so far easy lifestyle….some will finally decide whether they like to count sticky notes or sell stick-notes….some will do it by e-mailing seniors (who by the way cleared the same doubt through the same route the previous year)……some will check which firms and fields pay the most (we all are slave of money….wealth is health….sabse bada rupaiyaa fanclub follow this path)….. some will do some introspection….Long term Vs Short term gains….vision mision values…in that order over cans of beers (even though by end of 10th Can they will argue over which chick from first year is most easy to court and forget why the hell they started drinking!……some losers will also start wailing over his bad habits like drinking and smoking)….while some will check the marksheet to know what they are good at (even though in each paper they dependent fully on the guy next desk in mains and assignments of seniors in internals for marks )…..the leftover will maintain the status quo and label it as general management/consulting focussed (even though they don’t know the answer to the question Why consulting?)….

As soon the matured second year commodities decide on their future (it’s funny how 50 hours can decide the course of next 50 years for many….this one decision sometimes takes lesser time than deciding which show to go for a movie!) the next big thing is to convince self….friends…..girl/boyfriend(s)……parents (sometimes…okay many a times)…….Ramu Kaka (okay was just checking if you are still reading it) about the decision……..and convince self again after everyone else is convinced (obviously after a mighty attack on you with weapons of doubt/risk/suspicion on your decision)

Once this stage is done…..next comes a decision to Target companies…..it’s similar to getting ready with an arrow and bow…rightly in place…..in a mythological attire…..with the Target being the Logo of the company…flickering on the widescreen…..with only one Bull’s eye waiting for the candidate who is the perfect fit for the company…..since the company is already in a bargaining position….the commodities adjust traits…knowledge….and attitude fine tuning them with those of the company……they call it preparation….again the seniors are the rescue…..they also wait in anticipation to see their mailbox flooded with mails with domain of the insti and Subject lines similar to catastrophes (“Help Wanted!!” / “Please Help” / “Urgent Help” / “Urgent” /”Extremely Urgent Please Help” ) …..the seniors also make a count of how many hot chicks and stud guys mail them…..it decides how cool/stud/nerdy they are considered by the junior batch (not knowing the fact that same mail is forwarded to all the decent seniors available ) and some may even start dreaming of a melodramatic scene of the Chick running in slow motion to him and Hugging him with a peck on his cheek after getting the Dream job and proposing a Marriage he can’t refuse……

The seniors again follow the same suit….mailing the gyaan they got from their seniors (sometimes plain forward of the same mail…sometimes doing some editing…like replacing the “…in case of any other issue contact me via mail” to ” call me on **********” and the signature of the super senior)….and what was fake in their gyaan (This Gyaan will again get refined in the next process when we forward the same mails to the next gen…)

After all info is available…starts the prep…..mugging facts……reading reports……visiting websites…..attending CV point magnet events like Guest lectures and Being Volunteers ……and finishing Live Projects (that were either dead….or never alive…..but the “To whomsoever it may concern” mail properly in Mail boxes with complementing remarks from the project owner)

Finally the D-Day or Week (or Month(s)) arrives and the neatly packaged commodity is ready for the bargain…..the companies start coming down to the campuses to be fed well and entertained by the knowledge level of the candidates and the antics of the organizing teams…..at the end of the day they hunt down the best bet (bait)…..the candidate is happy……the company is happy….the organizer is happy…..and all of them sleep with the thought “Aaj mast mamu banaya”

Happy Hunting!

After the (intended) humorous ice breaker…let me get down to what made me type the 70 words so far….nothing great but a simple observation……..what the advances in medical science has done to our life…

Long long ago….say cut out 300 years maybe…or even less than that…..the world was a place inhabited by human who were bit different from what we are……they lacked knowledge…..they lacked awareness of diseases… and what…?….they were happy….ignorance was bliss…

Suddenly the guy next door starts getting a yellow tinge in his skin colour….the family and neighbour label it as divine intervention…the guy is treated sacred….maybe God knows….he is worshiped….gets good stuffs to eat….maybe even gets good 3rd-4th marriage proposal (yeah..polygamy was the in thing those days…sigh!…) ….but what the poor thing didn’t know and what we know today is he was suffering from Jaundice with Bilirubin Count hitting 45! The racist folks around him are happy as he is getting a shade different from is pals….the ornamental chicks are all happy to know about a prospect…..but one sunny day….poof the guy is dead!……all clueless….what to conclude?…..some expecting the poor soul to wake up from his samadhi ….but in 2 days they know that he is the next lunch of the wildlife around…!

Now the folks know few things: You get that yellow shade……You are pampered….You are the hot material….You die.

The next guy getting that shade gets opposite treatment….the day he gets a shade yellower than his father he is taken to a secluded hut and beaten up…the folks assume some witchcraft will get him back the colour of his skin….but the poor chap dies sooner….thanks to the deadly combo of Jaundice and danda

Now the folks know few more things: You get that yellow shade…..You are either pampered or beaten up……You Die.

The next guy getting yellow is now treated like a dead man. The day he shows the yellow shade his folks start creating the menu for his cremation day….the poor chap decides what his dead body should wear and who should be given his black horse (Well black horse was like the Pulser 150…not with 8 Bhp…..but 1 hp). The family knows he will die…..so he is fed all good food and chicks available….the poor guy dies sooner…thanks to excess non-veg food and sex he is forced into.

By this time folks know that getting yellow is ticket to hellways….so nobody bothers…..and accepts it as fate (good or bad depending on what the to-be-dead leaves behind)….

Soon another guy suddenly starts shivering and his folks start looking for a change in shade but hey he is not changing his colour….the folks are confused…..they try to gauge what is happening….gives him a good bath to see if the colour is changing….waits for one full day…..and before the colour changes….he changes himself from present tense to past tense….the poor guy dies of Malaria….but alas nobody knew……

The next day the long time ailing man from the Africa dies of cough and cold…..while everyone else was getting cured of that stuff he was getting worse everyday…..soon the chicks in the nearby village also start behaving the same way….alas he dies…..takes with him the fact that he got AIDS from the monkeys in the Amazon and how he transmitted the same to the chicks in the nearby village…

The stories run similar for many such ailments….and everything ends with either God or some form of him responsible for it……

Cut out the 300 years and come to 2009.

I sneeze reading about the 100th victim of Swine Flu in the metro and rest four seats beside me are mine…..you feel tired and feverish for one day and you are pricked with blood sucking needles in the neighborhood Pathology Lab….the day you see 3 mosquitoes near your bed combined with a shivering (even though the morning issue of TOI is shouting about the coldest day in last 50 years) you conclude a Malaria…we pop pills at the drop of hat….we start chyavanprash as soon the nose starts running…..we are shielded by the medical life of ours….this feverish appetite for life….this skeptical outlook towards biological change….this extra cautious attitude interfering our daily life is something that gets into our nerves…..

Alas….thanks to the daily discovery of new diseases and drugs…..we are no less than the astronauts on Hubble Space center…popping pills and monitoring heartbeats…….some may label it prevention is better than cure…..some may call it over interference with our natural rendezvous with nature…….I will call it one more post written in my blog!

Bored to death (no medicine here)